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The Problem With Being Happy

I recently listened to a sermon about "Being Happy" in which many happiness experts were quoted, including the Dalai Lama. Afterwards, I spoke with the lecturer, telling him that I disagree with the Dalai Lama. Later, I thought, "I am being audacious, disagreeing with the Dalai Lama." Thinking about it further I realized that if the Dalai Lama is as humble as is reported, he would be the first to agree that he is only human and does not have all the answers. I do not have all the answers either, and I have concerns about this golden goal of "being happy."

The desire to "be happy" has driven people. For many years, it has driven many people to be greedy, to have more money, bigger houses, more education/knowledge, more powerful cars, more trips, etc. And, as many have found, these things and experiences do not lead to happiness.

Happiness is a feeling that, like all feelings, comes and goes, according to what is going on around us or within us. When we are respectful and aware of our feelings, they give us vital information. We need all our feelings. It would be inappropriate for us to feel happy when we see something going on that is sad or frightening. If we experience something about which we feel sad, afraid, or angry, it is reasonable for us to feel those feelings and try to do something to improve the situation. After those actions have improved the situation, we will have natural happy feelings. What we can do in our daily lives is to find ways to fully experience and know when we are feeling happy.


Pleasure a Woman

If your gal is at ease with you in the sac, chances are, she hasn't divulged all of her deepest darkest doing-it desire. That's why we decided to clue you in on how to pleasure a woman. Some nights, she'd like to relinquish control. Women today lead stressful lives with lots of responsibility and in turn welcome the opportunity to surrender sexual power once in a while. Honestly, women often dig it when their man shows them whose boss in the bedroom. When her man is in the driver's seat, she's better able to simply lie back and allow herself to indulge in every sensation.

Reason enough for you to take charge sometimes. Just before you pleasure a woman you must call the shots. On the flip side, as much as she might like to surrender, she may also revel in taking the wheel on occasion. The trouble is women may enjoy taking the dominating stance; leading the action can be intimidating to her. To help ease your gal into a role of carnal commander-in-chief, give her clearance to rule the dance by being generous enough to do anything she ask for. Once in a while, have a quickie to pleasure a woman. Nine times out of ten, your gal is going to require a warm-up prior to you diving into the main event.

But even now and then, how to pleasure a woman and her lusty longings one must provide down-and-dirty instant gratification which is what she craves. On occasion, women want to experience a rush of satisfaction without going through the love making process. Having spontaneous sex the moment desire strikes can be very exhilarating. Not only that, but urgent, must-have-you-now sexual intercourse will make your gal feel even more like the irresistible sex goddess she is. You must go wild to pleasure a woman. The problems is that many women fear that if they do something "naughty" like getting vocal, revealing erotic fantasy, or introducing a toy, their man may be intimidated or think that they're slutty.


Keeping Your Marriage Strong

Most of us love our spouses, but there may be times when we don't feel like we are "in love with them." It's really easy to get to that point, in fact, when instead we should be focusing on how to make our marriage strong. If you suddenly feel like you love your spouse but aren't in love with him or her (or that feeling is coming to you from your spouse), take a closer look; are there issues you aren't dealing with in your marriage? Perhaps there's been infidelity, or some type of broken trust. Maybe there's been abuse, or one or both of you are simply "bored." There can be other issues as well, but no matter what is going on, you need to take an active role in order to keep your marriage strong.

Step 1 - Determine Trouble Areas

Every marriage has good times and bad times, and this is simply normal. However, when things have been bad for a while and are not getting better, there may be other things going on. Until you identify what's going on, things aren't going to become better. Pay close attention to the types of conflicts that commonly come up. Is there something you fight about all the time, or is there something that hurts one of you or both of you? That's the issue or issues you need to target.

For example, maybe you are fighting about money or maybe you think your spouse isn't interested in you physically anymore. Those are obvious reasons, but in other cases, reasons may not be as obvious. Counseling may be necessary to help you figure things out, and if so, that's okay. You have to know what the problems are before you can figure out solutions to them.

Step 2 - Work To Resolve The Issues

Working out your problems is important if you want to keep your marriage strong. Once you've identified what the problems are, you can approach them practically to resolve them. For this, you'll both need to sit down and talk calmly and honestly to each other, and create a plan to make things better. This may be difficult, more difficult than you expect, but again, that's okay. Similarly, "minor" problems may be anything but once you really begin to delve into them and see what's going on. If your spouse considers something to be a deal breaker, that can endanger your relationship; if it's been going on for a while, things may come to a head and simply need to be resolved if you don't want to lose your relationship altogether.

Of course, all of this is going to take attitude adjustment, but it's also likely going to take honest, hard work as well. For example, if your spouse has told you, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you," and intimacy is a problem, take a look at yourself. Have you gained a lot of weight recently? Have you "let yourself go"? Maybe you need to take some steps to get yourself back in shape - and healthier, too - in order to repair your marriage.



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