Women love Brad Pitt. You'd be hard pressed to find one that doesn't. Even Angelina Jolie loves Brad Pitt. What does Brad Pitt have that you don't have? You know, besides devastating good looks, international appeal, and more money than you've even heard of? How do you compete with that? You can't, but you can be something better. You can be her real-life dream man.

Most women know that the Brad Pitt of their fantasies is not the Brad Pitt of reality. Women also know that the man of their dreams may come in any shape or size. Sure, some have a "type" that they are immediately attracted to, but real affection comes from something deeper. It's about the way a man makes her feel - how he plays to her emotions. He can even have less than perfect bedroom skills if he appeals to her on a human level. When a woman fantasizes about Brad Pitt, it's very different than the way you fantasize about Carmen Electra. Sure, the sexual aspect is part of the fantasy, but I'm sure she's also thinking of him truly understanding and appreciating who she is. If you're just looking for a one night stand, that's fine, but don't be offended if she doesn't recognize you in Target three years down the line.

To be a dream man you need to believe it yourself. This isn't the first time you've heard this, and it certainly won't be the last. Self confidence ups your hot factor significantly - both in the bedroom and on the street. Don't confuse arrogance for confidence. That screams, "I'm insecure!" almost as loudly as apologizing for every thing you do. Confidence comes from a genuine place, one that can't be faked. And you know about women's intuition. She can spot a bullshit artist from a mile away.

How do you gain confidence if you don't already have it? It's easy - figure out for yourself why you're awesome. Maybe you can say the alphabet backward in under three seconds (good opener in a bar, by the way), or maybe you wrote an epic graphic novel about Bush's presidency, or maybe you even speak Klingon. So yeah, those things won't make you every woman's dream man, but you never know who will think it's amazing. Mega-hottie Transformers star Megan Fox will talk to you about comics all night, so never underestimate what excites women.

The moral of the story is to like yourself and to like her. Being a dream man is about the intimacy you develop with another person, not about being a fantasy. If you're up on a pedestal, the only way to go is down. However, if you're building a relationship, the only way to move is forward.

Michael Webb
©2009

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