One of the many challenges men have is to decide on what positions to use when getting booty. The biggest fears are that the woman will get bored with the "same old, same old" and as a result lose interest in sex. So the question becomes, what are the best sexual positions?

The best way to explain this is to talk about what NOT to do. With that in mind, I'll now talk about the top five mistakes guys make when it comes to sexual positions, so that way you won't continue making them.

Position Mistake 1: Imitating anything seen in a porn movie. This is probably the biggest reason that guys fail with sexual positions. Inexperienced guys think porn is a good model because they see studs banging beautiful broads, and... well, they just don't know any better. The problem is that sexual positions in those sorts of movies are meant to display a good scene for viewers, not to maximize pleasure for the actors.

And in fact, one of the WORST positions for clitoral and vaginal stimulation is when the woman puts her ankles on your shoulders. With her pelvis bent back that far, she can feel pain in her cervix if you push in too far. Plus it's a position that puts pressure. (If you ever have a chance to go behind the scenes and watch the making of an adult movie, you'll see how quickly the mood gets killed when the actress keeps having to stop the scene to go to the bathroom!)

Position Mistake 2: Trying too hard to keep your weight off the woman, in any position. To a woman, sex is a way to get closer to her man. She loves it when he leans on the underside of her thighs. So here's a tip for you to try... Next time you're having sex with your woman (while you're engaged in actual intercourse, that is), get more of your weight on her. You see, during sex, almost every woman enjoys feeling her man's body pressed hard against her.

So how much weight should you put on her? Make it enough so that after you come, and the sexual frenzy dissipates, your woman will tell you that she feels like she's being smooshed. Of course, do this within limits! If you're on top off her grinding her pubic bone for too long, it can feel painful for her.

But the bottom line is that many, many women like to be pressured by at least some of the man's weight. So save the gentlemanly sex for the royal family's women!

Position Mistake 3: Letting the woman do all the work when she's on top. For virtually every woman, sex is mostly a passive activity. So by being the motionless beta male, you destroy the whole purpose of sex for her, which is to open herself up to you penetrating into her body.

Position Mistake 4: Being a wimp. A lot of guys have read too many "Men are From Mars"-type books and think women like it if you ask permission for everything and let them take the lead. Be the alpha male instead and just "do it." Flip her over, move her here and there. Be aggressive and even toss her about like a rag doll when you want to change positions, and... she'll LOVE it! And don't worry about it. If something is going on that the woman doesn't like, she'll let you know.

Position Mistake 5: Thinking the trickier positions are better. You don't need to be upside down, hanging from a lamp, and doing something crazy. Just be normal. An old standby like the missionary (man on top, woman lying on her back) can be the best sexual position.

Tricky positions are just frustrating for everybody and often kill the mood because there's too much "where should I put my arm?"... and not enough "let's just have fun exploring."

John Alexander
Author, "How to Become an Alpha Male"
©2006

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