If I have a penny for every man who asks me how to captivate a woman, I'd be the second riches person next to Bill Gates. Men constantly and consistently whine that they don't get women at all. "This is driving me crazy, she hasn't answered any of my calls" my friend Bryan says about the girl he has been dating for a while.

"The first date, we hit it off well, I'm sure she had a great time!" he continued. Their first date led to a second and third date but after that it just waned and he never heard from her again. "I made sure she is comfortable and happy! I don't know what happened and I'm really puzzled! Is it me? Women- they are so confusing!" he frustratingly finished.

I'm sure my friend Brian is not alone in his sentiments. So many men out there are just as puzzled on how to attract a woman, captivate a woman and keep her captivated. There are so many advices out there on how to captivate a woman, most of them are true and some are just utterly ridiculous.

Being cocky and overly arrogant can put her off no matter how good looking you are. On the other hand being too all over her can make her question and doubt your intentions. Let me elaborate the last two sentences I mentioned. No matter what other people tell you, acting loud and swaggering can put her off.

A man can sometimes become too overwhelmed. He wants to impress his date and ends up monopolizing the whole conversation. You have to be careful of trying to prove yourself too much because some women are perceptive enough to sense that you are trying too hard to prove yourself, making her think how pathetic and insecure you are.

On the other hand, if you try too hard to please her and cater her with the tiniest details like tying her untied shoe laces or putting on her seatbelt will actually scare her away. This can come as romantic and sweet if the two of you have already established a relationship but when both of you are in the "getting to know each other" stage, you might need to tone down on the "fatherly" or "the caregiver approach".

The reason why this scares women away is it will make her think why you are being too caring even if you don't know her that well, making her suspect your motives. To captivate a woman, there is only one secret and that is your undivided attention. Listen to her without being too handy, be interested on what she has to say and see if both you hit it off well.

A perceptive lady will know if a man is pretending to listen or pretending to be interested. To captivate a woman let her know that you are interested not just from the neck down but what's between her shoulders. Don't get me wrong admire her eyes or lips or smile and compliment her shoes or how amazing she looks.

Tell her and let her know what you like about her unless it is her chest then you might want keep that to yourself. Be candid, women like that kind of stuff. To captivate a woman treat her like woman not a baby. Tell she's a woman of substance. How to attract a woman is a challenge for most men.

The wisest thing that you can do is to stop being too conscious about yourself and focus on her. And remember, no matter what time or era, a lady will always admire a gentleman.

Ruth Purple
©2011

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