Let's say you are one of those men who have been in a "plodding" relationship for a couple of years now, in fact, so mundane the "plod", you can't even remember how many years. Even worse, you forget your anniversaries, pleading a frenetic work schedule and make flippant promises to make good but they never materialize. Seriously, who needs to put that much effort in right? Wasn't it Douglas Adams who wrote, "I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month and I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis?" That's how confident you felt about yourself and your relationship right? Those back-slapping buddies of yours who convince you that forgetting the 10th anniversary is acceptable. Does this all sound familiar?

Then along comes the realization that she's been making a lot of noise on being taken for granted, under-appreciated, the relationship being one-sided, 'yadda, yadda, yadda' and you just kept right on ignoring her. Why not, you've heard it all before!

So now even after much deliberation and your beleaguered aptitude of hindsight, you still can't figure out why she left you. So how are the relationships of your beer-swilling, jerky chewing, ass-scratching friends? Hmmn, thought so. Either they are divorced, separated; sadly single cradling some alcoholic snifter instead of holding the sweet soft skin of her satiny cheeks between their clammy little paws. So here's the cruncher - "How is their advice and your previous approach to relationships working for you???!"

It's not is it? Let me guess, once you realized she'd split, you phoned all your buddies and off you went on a "mock-stag" night to celebrate your "new found freedom" and it worked for about two hours until you got home and found the empty unmade bed, the overflowing trash and crumpled shirt and trousers still in need of ironing. That's when the epiphany hit you like a wet cold fishy slap on the forehead- it was you who'd been who'd been dumped at the alter!

You 'brave' it out for a few more days and by the end of the week, although you would rather stick a pin in your eye than admit it, you are LOST without her. There is this huge chasm in your life that she used to fill and it was only after she'd gone, that you realized how important she was to you. Not only that but suddenly you start to see her as every other horny guy out there sees who and you realize you had one "Good Looking Cooking!" You need to win her back and fast! Now this is where you need to take a long, hard look at the relationship you used to have with her, or more honestly, a long hard look at what it is you did that drove her away. This is where the Holy Grail of Relationship Fix-it's in getting HER back, begins!

Michael Webb
©2009

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