Men like sex. That's hardly news. But what is the difference between having sex and having the best sex ever? Use your brain. Yes, that is the answer. Your brain is the most powerful sex organ you have. Thinking about sex and understanding what you like is the most important, and perhaps the most overlooked, step in being a dynamic lover.

Men tend to react simply and physically to arousal: "I see a hot girl. I want to have sex with the hot girl." Transforming that into mind blowing sex means getting to know yourself, and I don't just mean manually. Understand who you are as a sexual being. These days, men are bombarded with sexual imagery. Porn is readily available. Half-naked girls are constantly bouncing across your TV screen and through the pages of magazines. As a result, men tend to take their sexual cues from outside sources. While new ideas are always welcome, it is important to explore the real reasons behind your arousals, and the most thrilling ways to satisfy them.

Let's take the hot girl from before. You already know you want to have sex with her, but what is that sex going to look like? Ask yourself some questions:

• How do you want to touch her?
• How do you want her to touch you?
• What are you hoping to achieve during your encounter (besides orgasm)?

Understand what turns you on and why, and learn how to communicate it. Being a confident lover works in both your favors. For example, if you love performing oral sex, your partner has the benefit of being in bed with someone who is completely engrossed in the task at hand. She may reach orgasm several times before you're done. However, if that is something you're not into, your partner will sense it, and that is uncomfortable for everyone involved.

Getting to know yourself sexually is valuable in understanding your own comfort zone. The kinkiest of kink may be intriguing on screen, but that doesn't mean it translates well into real life. Understanding your sexual boundaries and how to communicate them to your partner will help you avoid unsatisfying encounters.

The brain is a powerful organ. Your body only reacts the way the brain instructs. When you understand the satisfaction of the sex you're having in your mind, you can bring it to the bedroom. You will be a more confident lover, allowing you to satisfy both yourself and your partner better than ever.

Michael Webb
©2009

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