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How to Cure Shyness Once and For All

by Trevor Johnson

Tips on how to cure shyness depends on the level of shyness, in some cases shyness cannot be cured, but it can be controlled and maintained, so how to overcome shyness can be a more accurate description. Shyness is a common human emotion and most people feel a level of shyness at some point in their lives, especially when faced with a new situation. It is not a conscious emotion it is relative to situations and some people feel it more acutely than others. However, it must be understood that virtually everyone experiences it and without warning. It can be helpful from a psychological point of view because it allows you to adjust and assess a new situation quite slowly. Its real benefit is that it allows you to observe a situation without being involved in it.

It is also important that shyness is a state that you are born with and again that can be a good thing because generally those that are shy are also more sensitive. Observe babies in a pram and some love the attention of others and they will wave, smile and acknowledge everyone other children are more reserved and they will avert their eyes of their faces as it shunning the contact. If you have a shy parent then it is more likely that you will be shy and that risk increases with two shy parents.

Shyness as a state can also be encouraged in your early years. John Bowlby was a psychologist whose research indicated that children between the ages of six months and eighteen months develop a strong bond with their primary care giver. This bond gives them the confidence to try new things because they know that they are loved and cherished. Not all children have an ideal childhood. Some have parents that are aggressive and this results in shyness for two reasons the child shies away from this and also does so to avoid provoking aggression. Bowlby's theorised that a lack of affection in childhood led to a less confident person later.

The state of shyness can be nurtured in children and children can become timid if they are disturbed by a situation such as parental divorce, they can become inward looking. Children do not react well to criticism they blossom by being told how well they are doing and they develop a sense of pride in themselves that helps them to overcome a tendency to shyness. Equally children who have been ridiculed can be shy or anxious. Shyness can result from a fear of failure, or it can result from lack of imagination. Some people are tongue tied because that they cannot think of what to say, rather than the fact that are frightened of saying the wrong thing.

Despite all these factors shyness can be managed and the best tip to cure shyness is a type of immersion technique or desensitization, works. Immersion techniques are a type of cognitive therapy that allows you to slowly be exposed to something that you dislike such as meeting strangers'. If you cannot think of what to say then reading about current events may help to give you some ideas. Even watching other people and listening to what they say on buses and trains. It will at the very least give you confidence that you know what is going on in the world.

Most human conversation is interactive and your side of the conversation is fueled to a certain extent by what others say. In that sense it is a difficult skill to teach, but by being natural you can be more open with others.

Find out how you can overcome your shyness just click here.

Trevor Johnson
©2009



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