Compatibility is a difficult quality to measure. There is no mathematical formula to calculate whether you will ultimately fit well with someone or not. Only time, a few tears and several waves of realisation will determine this. But to measure a rough compatibility, there are a few unconscious signals and chemical messages your body uses to test a potential partner. Cher was surprisingly astute when she described a kiss as the best means for determining how much someone loves you. This intimate act is actually a key way to measure many things, including compatibility.

Kissing is practised almost exclusively by humans - the only animal that shares in this mouth-to-mouth pastime is the Bonobo Ape. Scientists are therefore slightly sceptical that this act is essential to mating and recognise that there are many subconscious impulses behind it. They actually trace the origin of the activity to the provincial passing of chewed-up food from mother to baby. But since then, many studies have also shown that this ritual has become a crucial part of how we measure our potential lover's suitability.

Even consciously, a lot of emphasis is placed on kissing. A bad kiss is always an unpleasant turn-off and has seen the end to many a potential tryst. Interestingly though, 2007 research at the University of Albany showed that women place a lot more importance on kissing than men do. The study revealed that men would sleep with a woman without kissing her first and wouldn't mind sleeping with a woman who was a bad kisser. The female participants chose the opposite answers.

However, under the surface, men are actually just as choosy as women. Similar research showed that men generally prefer French kissing and are more willing to initiate it. The researchers claimed that this is because they are unconsciously measuring the level of oestrogen in their partner's saliva and, through this, calculating how fertile she is. Male saliva also contains testosterone and this works to increase libido in the female, which may be another reason why males launch into this much more intimate type of kissing.

Women are also unconsciously calculating when engrossed in a passionate embrace. But rather than the delights of saliva sharing, here, smell is the important factor. A renowned study of Claud Wedekind's revealed that a man's scent can go a long way. The female participants were asked to sniff a variety of t-shirts worn by different men and indicate their preference. The researchers then compared the DNA of the women and the preferred men. The results showed that women tend to prefer those with a different MHC from their own. This basically means that women measure their partner's immune system through smell and choose a partner with a different immunity from their own. Any offspring will therefore be immune to a wider set of ailments. The proximity of a kiss lets women inhale to their hearts' content and subtly make these kinds of calculations.

Dating is a strange business. Who could guess that so much cold calculation is happening underneath the relatively simple act of kissing?

Steve Davis
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