Should You Live Together Before Marriage?

Moving In Together Before Marriage

You are very much in love with your significant other and have been seeing each other for some time. You are comfortable with each other and are considering moving into a house or apartment together. First and foremost, you may wish to examine all the pros and cons of such an arrangement to avoid any complications or issues.

Some advantages to living together before marriage include:

You Will Be Able to Determine How Compatible You Are

You and your significant other may believe that the two of you are made for each other. You like the same things, your goals are similar, and the time you spend together is calm and soothing. This may continue after you move in together, or things may change if you are around each other all the time. Many believe that sharing this experience will help determine if you and your prospective spouse have a strong enough relationship to look past petty differences and minor disagreements. You will get to know each other so much better, and have a stronger understanding of each other’s personalities and preferences.

Expenses and Home Maintenance Will Be Shared

You may both be paying for separate apartments or homes right now and are buried in expenses that could be used for the big day or even for buying a new home. Living together would provide some relief from the onslaught of bills homeowners and renters are subject to. Cable, electricity, water, and phone bills can all be combined into one household to keep expenses down and provide extra funds for the wedding or the honeymoon. Both individuals could provide the furnishings and accessories both inside and outside of the home. Cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, and yard work could be shared.

You Will Have More Time to Spend Together

Your lives may be overwhelmingly busy, and you may hardly have any time to spend together. If you live in the same house or apartment, the two of you will be able to discuss day-to-day happenings, talk about plans for the weekend, spend every single night with each other, and even plan the wedding together.

Some disadvantages of living together before tying the knot include:

Friends and Family May Criticize Your New Living Arrangements

Be ready for some backfire if you decide to cohabitate. Many of your friends and relatives may be totally and completely against the concept and will make no bones about their feelings in this situation. You may alienate yourself by taking such a step, and hiding the fact will just make matters worse when the truth comes out. If you do decide to live together, be honest and upfront about it. Concealing your living arrangements could be one more stressor that you can live without.

It May Go Against Your Religious Beliefs

Many religions frown on cohabitation, and this could become a real issue if you or your significant come from very religious backgrounds. Feelings of guilt and shame may encroach on your happiness and prevent you from truly enjoying each other’s company. It will be especially stressful if only one of you is in a religion which expressly condemns such an action.

It Might Not Work Out

Worst case scenario, the cohabitation arrangement might not work out, and you may realize that living together was not a good idea. It may cast a pall over your wedding plans, and the event may even be postponed or canceled. Go into this arrangement with your eyes wide open and an awareness of what it could do to your long-term plans.

It May Turn Into a Long-Term Arrangement

One or more of the partnership may become extremely comfortable and complacent in the arrangement of living together. Wedding plans could slowly drift away or be postponed over and over again. Funds could be spent on upgrading and furnishing the home instead of on a ceremony, reception, or honeymoon. A beautiful wedding could become a far-away dream instead of a blissful future reality.

After examining all of the pros and cons of such a big decision, it is up to the two of you to decide what is the most logical step – to continue to live separately until rings and vows are exchanged, or to choose the best place to live and move in together months and sometimes years before the big day. Looking at the pros and cons will allow both of you to think long and hard about your future living arrangements.

The decision may be difficult and is very personal for both the bride-to-be and the prospective groom, so it is best not to allow other concerned parties to become involved. Choose what is best for the relationship and what will help move the two of you forward in your new life together, and your answer should be clear.

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