You remember your adolescent self, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to go back to being him for anything. Walking around with a hard-on twenty four hours a day, surrounded by girls in mini-skirts who won't even let you touch them under their bras, so you spend most of your time beating off as much as possible without your mom catching on to all the time you spend in the bathroom.

Fast forward twenty five years. You have fumbled your way through losing your virginity, making a few mistakes, and getting married. You now have a beautiful wife that you still find sexy as ever, but between work and family duties, the time you have to spend making mad, passionate love has dwindled. You want to try something new, but all the stuff you find on the internet requires serious contortions, and you're not sure your bum knee can take it.

Maybe it's not something new you need. Maybe it's something from before you learned how to unhook a bra without help. Being a walking hard on was horribly frustrating, but it wasn't boring. There are a couple of things you may have forgotten about since girls started letting you put your penis in them.

The Make-Out Session

I'm sure you remember your first girlfriend. The two of you used to make out for hours on end - you trying to touch her breast, her slapping your hand away. The hours and hours of kissing had you in such a frenzy, you didn't even notice when her dad walked in. However, ever since you've been allowed to have sex with women, this adolescent passion probably hasn't been equaled. To add some passion, go back to this old stand by. Make out, and make out for a really long time. But how do manage to keep from taking the prize if you're already allowed? Trying making it a bet, and make sure the wager is worth it. For example, whoever touches below the belt first gets to pick TV on Monday. If you go there first, you'll be watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 during Monday Night Football.

Mutual masturbation

I'm sure you cringed at this term when your health teacher presented it as an alternative to sex (unless you were in high school in the last eight years and received abstinence-only education), but the grown up version of this can be fun. Whether you're fully clothed on the couch or naked in your bed, mutual masturbation bring some playfulness back into sex. You can get reacquainted with each other's genitals - rediscover those spots that really make her lose her mind. If you cum, you don't have to have intercourse. Penetration is not a necessity every time you have sex. You're a grown up now, so you can forget all those silly rules you used to make about what defines sex ("It was just a hand job! We didn't even do anything!"). You can go ahead and make your own.

Michael Webb
©2009

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