Here are some tips on making sex more climatic for you. Ladies, be glad you didn't live 100 years ago, or even 50 years ago. Back then, the female orgasm wasn't discussed publicly, and almost never discussed privately. Most men didn't know it existed. Even biologists and scientists doubted it. After all, it's the man's orgasm that's vital to reproduction, not the woman's.

We live in a more enlightened age now, but there are still many women who don't have orgasms regularly, or who are unsure how to achieve them. Some surveys show as many as 20 percent of all women NEVER having had an orgasm! What's more, a lot of women have orgasms -- but only when masturbating, not when they're making love. The aim of this article is to help women enjoy orgasms more frequently and with greater regularity.

First, what the orgasm is. The man's orgasm is obvious because it's accompanied by ejaculation. Some women ejaculate too, but most don't, making the female orgasm ever more mysterious. The female orgasm is preceded by the vaginal walls becoming moist and the clitoris becoming enlarged. Just before orgasm, the vagina decreases in size by about 30 percent. The uterus, vagina and pelvic muscles all contract rhythmically.

Studies show that the vast majority of women feel intense pleasure during orgasm, and many women can "recover" and have another one in a very short period of time, sometimes immediately. (Men, of course, require at least several minutes, sometimes much longer, to "reload.")

One of the major obstacles preventing women from having orgasms is that men are usually in control. It's the man doing the thrusting and moving, usually operating based on what makes HIM feel good. Now, it usually feels good for women, too, but it may not be helpful in achieving an orgasm. Men and women are often on different timetables: Men can get off fairly quickly, while women need time.

So the key is to get him to slow down a bit, to give you more time to achieve climax, too. You can accomplish this in a couple of ways. One is to take control of things yourself. By climbing on top and riding him, you're in command of how fast or slow you go. Many men find this very arousing, in fact, which is an added bonus.

You can also just talk to your lover about your needs. Communication is the key to any relationship. Tell your partner that you can't climax if he climaxes too soon. A lot of men know very little about women's orgasms, but they want you to have them. Men like knowing that they've satisfied a woman and will do almost anything to accomplish that.

During the act of lovemaking, look for the signs that your lover is getting close to climaxing. An increased pace, more vigorous grunting or moaning, and harder thrusts are all signs of this. If it's too soon for you, simply whisper, "Slow down, honey, I'm not there yet."

You also need to take charge of your own orgasm. Studies show that anywhere from 30 percent to 50 percent of women can't have orgasms through vaginal stimulation alone. If you need to use your hand to stimulate your clitoris, do it. It's nice when your lover helps you out with that, but it's not always feasible. He's doing what he has to do to get himself off, so you need to do whatever it takes for you, too.

Sometimes, even a considerate lover might climax too quickly, despite his best efforts, leaving you high and dry. This is known as premature ejaculation, and it is by far the most common sexual problem affecting men. Some 20-30 percent of all men suffer from it regularly.

The causes can be physical but are often psychological or emotional. Men with little sexual experience usually climax quickly simply because of the sheer excitement of it. Also, anxiety over their sexual performance can, ironically, make the performance worse. Outside factors like stress or depression can also cause premature ejaculation.

It's important for you to be understanding about this. If your partner knows you need more time and wants to last longer and simply CAN'T, then the last thing he needs is for you to criticize him or make him feel guilty. Believe me, he feels bad enough already: Nothing makes a man feel worse than thinking he has failed to satisfy his lover.

Instead, when you have sex, do what you can to make him feel comfortable and at ease. Let him know you love him. Talking endlessly about the problem won't help, and might make it worse. Take his mind off it by simply having a good time.

Some men are able to overcome premature ejaculation by slowing down or by not copulating for more than 20 or 30 seconds at a time before pulling out, breathing for a moment, then starting again. This is disruptive, of course, but it may be what's necessary to help him gain control of his orgasm.

And while he's gaining control of his, you need to take control of yours. Many web sites now have a wealth of information on women's sexual pleasure. Don't be afraid to browse to learn more about how you can get greater satisfaction out of your sex life.

©2008

Show All Articles By Cucan Pemo