The 3 Paradoxes of Great Sex

These 3 mistakes all come from the "land of good intentions", but still, they wreak merciless havoc on the lives of countless men.

I'm referring to the following:

1. The Paradox of Trying Too Hard
2. The Paradox of Thinking Too Much
3. The Paradox of the Simple Moves

1. THE PARADOX OF TRYING TOO HARD

Great sex will always be about FLOW.

One doesn't need to press for it, trying too hard on any area will cause you to mess it up - that's a guarantee. The tragedy is that most men don't even see this one coming and end up working against themselves - the harder they try, the harder it becomes.

One of the temptations of having too many tricks in the bag is to unleash them in a grand overflow and put on a show. Needless to say, you'll reek of the 'trying too hard' vibe. Instead of dazzling Eve, you'll turn her off - for the vibe masks a specific fear - the fear of inadequacy, that nagging feeling of not being good enough.

You're afraid she won't have a great time unless you pleasure the brains out of her, so you feel compelled to unleash every physical technique to compensate for a personal issue.

Like I said, this will backfire.

You don't need to do everything - don't be an overeager yes-man. The rookie mistake here is trying too hard to please every woman, every time, with the hopes of being the best she's ever had. You'll end up pleasing nobody. Instead, learn to lean back and let sexual excellence come to you.

2. THE PARADOX OF THINKING TOO MUCH

Great sex is always UNCONSCIOUS; it's not logical or rational.

The bedroom is not the place to think, and the absolute worst time to contemplate your insecurities, sexual hang-ups and skills. Deal with them BEFORE your next carnal encounter and AFTER your last one... NEVER DURING.

Calibrate... but don't thresh-out psychological issues in the heat of things. Self consciousness and self-talk pull you out of the moment and into a negative spiral where you become sexually ineffective and out of touch.

Don't be overly concerned with the mechanics and metrics of intercourse - like the exact pressure or angle of your hand, or the direction of your thrusts. When it comes to the real thing -- stop thinking -- focus on your partner and immerse in the moment.

Don't plan every move as if sex is a series of perfectly executed maneuvers. When you over-think things, you'll mess up. The best crane operators don't analyze every step... they just do it, the moves have become 2nd to nature.

If you think too much, I assure you that the sex will get worse - instead of enjoying, you'll be too busy figuring out the next best move. Just enjoy the process, take it easy and don't be too hard on yourself.

It goes without saying that one doesn't have to gun for sexual perfection... there's no such thing. Afford yourself some mistakes and don't make a big deal out of it. This is very, very important.

3. THE PARADOX OF THE SIMPLE MOVES

Great sex will always about the SIMPLE MOVES.

It is the aggregate of simple things, done in the right way and at the right time, that makes the world of difference. You have to drive that one in your head. THERE ARE NO BIG TRICKS.

This is not about big moves or magic techniques - it's about the snowballing of easy to do maneuvers. The biggest lesson here is understanding that it's the small things that truly matter. It's not about making extensive changes to your game, but simply tweaking it.

It's learning to feel not just with your hands, but with your fingertips. It's being in-tune not just for her screams, but even to her breathing. Not just about writhing bodies but little twitches.

Great sex is simple, ('simple' doesn't mean 'boring'), it's not replete with shock-and-awe. The road to sexual greatness is not some hidden mythic trick, for the most elegant and effective moves have never been kept secret, they have always been there.

They just have been overlooked... if not forgotten. Being unpretentious, they easily pass off as insignificant.

So there you have it, The paradox of trying too hard, thinking too much and simple moves. Remember these three concepts when making love next time and you'll come across much more confident, sexy and natural.

Michael Webb
©2010

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