Maybe there's something to be said for going out with your buddies to work the bars and pick up women, but notice how rarely it ever actually seems to succeed? Girls go to the clubs in groups for safety and to make it difficult for all but the most aggressive males to pluck them away from their circle of friends and make a powerful first impression. But it puzzles me as to why GUYS feel they need to run in packs the same way.

Do you draw confidence from your male comrades in a club situation? Does the competitive spirit make you better? Or are you even MORE afraid to take a chance with a critical audience of snickering baboons watching your every move (AND screw up)? You probably don't know what the hell you're doing when it comes to approaching women TO BEGIN WITH... will somehow demonstrating this humiliating deficiency of your male skills in front of your goofball buddies make it any better?

Understand this: most of your genuine chances to pick up women won't ever happen when you're out with the boys in a bar -- there are far too many distractions and way too much competition for her attention. This is a situation where no one but the most VISUALLY OBVIOUS DOMINANT MALE among the crowd has any advantage. Most women in this 'party mode' are only there to drink and dance and act nutty anyway. Only the most top dog male in the joint has any prospect of breaking through this goofy ?fun trance' and getting a rise from his suggestive behavior. You? You're just the sort of invisible shmuck she completely ignores; nothing but background clutter. The same way that you ignore all the fat chicks in the crowd and focus in on only the hottest looking babes. Right?

Your 'modus operandi' has to be completely different.

In order to keep a safety zone around your fragile ego, a complex NON-verbal interplay must occur before you can ever speak any words to her with confidence. This takes time and requires a situation where the two of you can focus at least some *attention* on one another without having the trance broken by other people around you (preferably strangers, and not engaged in doing anything particularly important i.e., like library readers for instance). The very same girl that would immediately brush you off in a bar can be wide open to your advances in AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SITUATION -- one where you can monopolize her attention. That's why you must always keep your antennae out and be looking for opportunities in the most unlikely of situations!

In any case, the absolute WORSE situation for trying to meet women happens at some wild event where her guard is up like a silver cross to ward off all the drunken losers suddenly "full" of liquid courage (low status males). You'll do *much better* when you learn how to establish a bit of playful, unspoken communication in places where her guard is DOWN and you have a chance to disarm her with your male presence and charm. It's really not all that difficult once you understand that what she needs to see from you is just one little sign of Dominant Male behavior.

The good news... you can easily learn how to *fake* the most key HSM (High Status Male) attitudes until they become second nature!

Seductions are a lot like *sporting contests* in that you never know what unforeseen twists and turns may happen on your way to victory. You can't allow yourself to be handcuffed by the need to keep looking over your shoulder to make sure you're not doing anything that will make you the butt of jokes and mockery from your "crowd" for weeks to come. A lot of times, you'll have to scrap the game plan and make changes to your technique on the fly -- and these adjustments don't always fit the image of what your leering buddies probably think is cool.

Look, don't play the loser's game of going out to work the clubs with your "gang". Not when you're serious about hunting for women, anyway. Bad experiences will only sap your confidence and make it more difficult than ever to effectively play the "real" game... the one where you try to win the desire of a beautiful woman.

You know... the ONLY game that actually matters.

Mike Pilinski
©2005

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