I decided to write an article about power play because I was surprised to find out that most people, couples especially do not know what power play in the relationship is but is guilty of the act. Power play is when you try to manipulate your way to have total control and have all the say over your partner and relationship. Some men or women cunningly take advantage of their partner's flaws and weaknesses to get what they want in the affair. In the relationship, this usually happens in long term ones when lovers get too familiar with each other.

But if you are manipulative by nature and feel that you should have over all command over the people around you then you won't hesitate to play the "game" in your relationship irregardless if it's a blossoming affair or a long term one- too bad for your partner. If you are a "player" then you work a in subtle and wicked way. You size-up your partner, identify her weaknesses, trigger it, make her feel guilty and once she feels unsure and insecure you would tie a string around her and treat her like a puppet. Good for you if you have a trusting and meek lover but if you have a fighter for a lover then you have a "cold-war" for a relationship.

Here are some common basic examples about power play in the relationship. One is you argue and argue without direction or solution. You argue your ass out just to win the argument. It doesn't matter if your argument is way too hurtful already as long as you can get to shut your partner up. You don't care anymore, your focus and your goal is to make your partner feel like she is the most hopelessly faulty person there is. Another example that power play works in your relationship is when you can't wait for your partner to make a mistake so that you can have the upper hand in decision making.

I mentioned earlier that in power play, you have the tendency to advantage of your partner's weaknesses and use it against her. If this goes out of hand, power play will make use of emotional abuse, verbal abuse, economic abuse and physical abuse. You don't want this in your relationship even if you are the perpetrator. Having "power" is not worth all the self- turmoil and self- remorse that you will feel inside. Let me tell you something, people who crave for control and power in expense for other people are the most inadequate person there is; they go to the extent of hurting the people they care about and people who cares for him just to feel that he is something.

I have always believed that having control of one's mind and self is the ultimate power of all, having the ability to see through any bulls**** and looking to the goodness within other people is the ultimate strength and helping people up and supporting them through their weaknesses is the supreme act of nobility. How to be in control of your life need not controlling others, if you want supremacy in your life, start within yourself.

Ruth Purple
©2010

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