When Power Play Gets Out of Control in Your Relationship
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Ruth Purple I decided to write an article about power play because I was surprised to find out that most people, couples especially do not know what power play in the relationship is but is guilty of the act. Power play is when you try to manipulate your way to have total control and have all the say over your partner and relationship. Some men or women cunningly take advantage of their partner's flaws and weaknesses to get what they want in the affair. In the relationship, this usually happens in long term ones when lovers get too familiar with each other. But if you are manipulative by nature and feel that you should have over all command over the people around you then you won't hesitate to play the "game" in your relationship irregardless if it's a blossoming affair or a long term one- too bad for your partner. If you are a "player" then you work a in subtle and wicked way. You size-up your partner, identify her weaknesses, trigger it, make her feel guilty and once she feels unsure and insecure you would tie a string around her and treat her like a puppet. Good for you if you have a trusting and meek lover but if you have a fighter for a lover then you have a "cold-war" for a relationship. Here are some common basic examples about power play in the relationship. One is you argue and argue without direction or solution. You argue your ass out just to win the argument. It doesn't matter if your argument is way too hurtful already as long as you can get to shut your partner up. You don't care anymore, your focus and your goal is to make your partner feel like she is the most hopelessly faulty person there is. Another example that power play works in your relationship is when you can't wait for your partner to make a mistake so that you can have the upper hand in decision making. I mentioned earlier that in power play, you have the tendency to advantage of your partner's weaknesses and use it against her. If this goes out of hand, power play will make use of emotional abuse, verbal abuse, economic abuse and physical abuse. You don't want this in your relationship even if you are the perpetrator. Having "power" is not worth all the self- turmoil and self- remorse that you will feel inside. Let me tell you something, people who crave for control and power in expense for other people are the most inadequate person there is; they go to the extent of hurting the people they care about and people who cares for him just to feel that he is something. I have always believed that having control of one's mind and self is the ultimate power of all, having the ability to see through any bulls**** and looking to the goodness within other people is the ultimate strength and helping people up and supporting them through their weaknesses is the supreme act of nobility. How to be in control of your life need not controlling others, if you want supremacy in your life, start within yourself. Ruth Purple©2010 The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching individuals and couples in their relationships. Get A Copy of her sensational ebook on Winning Over Infidelity. Experience a Happier Love Life. Show All Articles By Ruth PurpleHow To Guarantee a Lifetime of Love
Fall in love againRemember how great it felt when you were falling in love? You can get that back when you do the exercise explained in chapter 4. When you visit those special memories from the beginning of your relationship then share with each other how good it feels to relive those experiences, you will begin to feel what I like to call the "in-love-sparkles" once again . And you can use this process any time you notice the love slipping out of number one position. Remember, when you're "in love" everything else you do is brighter and more enjoyable. Are you still having fun? One thing I've noticed about relationships and this love thing is that happy relationships aren't filled with lovey-dovey, smoochy, romance stuff...at least not all the time. Those couples who are obviously in love after years of being married don't live the lives we read about in novels or see in movies. Nope, that's not it at all. What's holding them together is that they're having fun. Yes, I said fun. Love Play is the real glue. Simply put, they like being with each other. Remember when you two were first together? You laughed with each other, you played, you planned activities and looked forward to being together. Sure, the romance was there and certainly the sexy stuff got your attention, but the thing that made you realize that he was "the one" was that you had fun together. You truly enjoyed each other's company and it didn't really matter what you did. You can bring back the fun and playfulness that you enjoyed when you were falling in love. How To Guarantee a Lifetime of Love will teach you a variety of steps, tools, techniques, and strategies so you can easily incorporate them into your relationship. As you do so you'll notice improvements right away. You'll start to fall in love all over again, your intimacy will deepen, and you'll become more bonded than ever before. It's easier than you might imagine and the benefits really will last a lifetime. You Get Two eBooks For The Price Of One! Because I want you to be successful in creating a lifetime of passionate love, you will get two ebooks for the price of one. One is for you, written for women. The other is written for men. In his book he'll learn why women love differently. It's a bit shorter. (You know, that whole "Can you just get to the point?" thing.) But most important, he will be given lots and lots of ideas for ways to tell you he loves you. Basically, it's a tutorial in romance. It will be lots of fun for both of you. Are You Tired of Having a Relationship That Is Less Than Your Dreams? It really is possible to transform your relationship so it is filled with ever-deepening love, playfulness, passion and hand-holding with your best friend for the rest of your life. |
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