The beginning stages of a relationship are euphoric and will also set the tone to determine whether it will be a successful one or not. For the first couple of weeks things are absolutely amazing, the sun shines, the earth moves and the whole world smiles with you. But generally this is a time when most people get lazy and don't do what needs to be done to establish a good relationship and things can quickly turn sour.

For the first week or two the relationship will be magical. The girl will seem perfect but this perfect state is fleeting. People(especially women) are great at hiding their issues, insecurities and pain bodies during this beginning stage. Like everything else hidden, it's only a matter of time before it rises to the surface.

*note for the women reading this. This is also true for women holding onto the perfect image of a man they are dating but since most of my readers are men I'll stick to that dynamic.

The first mistake we tend to make in the beginning of the relationship is holding onto this perfect image of the girl you are dating. The first two weeks are so amazing that we tend to gloss over the dark stuff and create our own blind spots. We consciously or unconsciously put the girl up on a pedestal.

We become attached to this perfect girl image because of how accustomed to bad relationships we are. We tend to think that she is somehow different and won't need to be taught about her insecurities, push past her fears and all the other stuff to make a relationship work. This is just a backwards rationalization for us wanting her to be perfect.

When you create an image of someone in your mind and become attached to it, we tend to see only that image and ignore the rest. If I told you to see everything red in the room, you would only focus on the red. The same goes with your image of a perfect girl. You see only what you want to in her.

Thinking you have found the perfect girl adds to the egos dramatic story that it creates around life. There is a yearning in the ego that wants to feel special or different from the rest of the sheep world. Believing that you have found someone different that doesn't require much training in the area of insecurities, fears and doubts makes you feel "special" in a way. It boosts the ego. This can be very hard to let go of and over time becomes an addiction. This leads to ignoring some "bad" stuff and being honest about who she is and who you are.

When you ignore the bad stuff you end up paying for it in the end. When a person gets into the sexual polarity lifestyle and learns to lead a woman and be the man she wants, the ego tends to have its doubts. Even if you are learning to lead her and do all the right things in the relationship, your ego still doesn't want it to be this way and thinks all of this stuff that you are learning is bullshit.

The ego knows on some level that getting relationship mastery by learning polarity, leading and all the other stuff that makes women attracted to you will make you happier. Happy is the last place the ego wants you. It wants you to be comfortably numb because pain is how it gets fed. The ego has only one concern, survival and it survives through pain.

When you hold onto the image of a perfect woman in your relationship, you ignore the bad stuff and not do your job properly as a man. This will cause your relationship to suck, which in turn causes more pain. That means more food (pain) for the ego. Your ego wants nothing more than for you to hold onto this image of a perfect woman.

I'm going to break that image for you...she's not perfect and neither are you. The only thing that matters is if you are perfect for each other. ALL women need to be helped with their insecurities and other issues-no one is special. She will have flaws and dark spots just like the rest of us, ignoring them will not help either of you. It will actually hinder the growth of the relationship.

To read Holding Onto the Wrong Girl: Biggest Relationship Mistakes Part Two click here

-Alex

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