Some practicing family law attorneys will also sponsor marriage reconciliation as an alternative to divorce. He or she are prepared to advocate for disputes in a non-adversarial way without the intervention of the courts. As with divorce, reconciliation workings are 100% confidential and the administrator guarantees impartiality.

If you want to explore reconciliation instead of a divorce, you've got to look objectively at all of the aspects that led to the divorce. Please look at both your spouse's as well as your shortcomings. You've got to make a list of both of your irritating, unacceptable, or trust breaking behaviors that led to this place in your lives. Next, you can develop a plan that seeks resolution for them. Getting help from a marriage counselor is wise and worth whatever expense it incurrs.

Have each of you changed since the time you first considered a divorce to now when you think reconciliation might be a better option. If there hasn't been any change, the same problems will lead you right back to where you are now. Perhaps a bit more work is in store before you seek reconciliation.

Are you emotionally able to offer a second chance or forgiveness without holding a grudge or maintaining a score card? Are you afraid to be on your own and perhaps you are using that fear to reconcile? Neither of these will foster a true reconciliation and must be dealt with.

Are you still in love with your partner? Do you think you can get back to the completeness your love once was? If there are trust issues here, you must work through them in order to have a full reconciliation.

Do the issues still exist that led you to the consideration of a divorce? If yes, reconciliation won't work without a resolution of those issues. Are you willing to resolve them?

Can you be intimate again with trust? Are you willing to do couples therapy? You might be a candidate for reconciliation and saving your marriage. Reconciliation requires objectivity.

Many emotional wounds have to be healed. Emotional hurt, dishonesty, disloyalty, and the loss of your trust are only a few of them. Can you overcome these wounded feelings? Have the mistakes you made allowed you to mature beyond them? Has your spouse corrected his?

Divorce might have decimated your sense of security; it's a powerful loss. I firmly believe that this opportunity to discover who are you and what do you truly want might lead to a reconciliation and I sincerely hope that my questions help you find harmony in your life.

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Len Stauffenger
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