Remarriage preparation is one of the most essential steps you can take to protect a subsequent marriage from a re-divorce. People ask me all the time, "Why do we need to prepare for a remarriage?" A lot of people falsely assume since they've been married before that preparation isn't necessary. Let's look at one reason why that theory doesn't work:

There's baggage that needs to be dealt with

Regardless of whether you've both been married in the past or not, you've been in other relationships before. When we get hurt in relationships, we change in order to protect ourselves from getting hurt like that again. We may think "all men/women" are this way. We may have a much harder time trusting people. We may feel we must test partners to be sure they won't hurt us.

Paying attention to how we've changed is important. Otherwise, that baggage may become a stumbling block in your new marriage. Here's a perfect example for you: There was a woman I saw whose first husband made her financially dependent on him and then left. She had to find a job and become financially independent. She was able to do this, but later found a new partner who told her once they were married he'd really like for her to have the opportunity to stay home and parent all of their children. She became very uncomfortable and seriously thought about ending the relationship.

This "baggage" she didn't even realize she was carrying around, almost cost her a wonderful relationship and family. All of us carry around hurts and hang ups that need to be addressed so they don't haunt us in the future. Remarriage preparation is the best way possible to recognize those quickly so you can leave the past in the past.

You may be asking, "How do I get started with remarriage preparation?" There are two answers: education and support.

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Alyssa Johnson at Remarriage Success
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