Men are quite phalli-centric when it comes to sex. Meaning, they think that sex revolves completely around their penis. This is a great detriment to most women's sex lives. When you put all the importance in sex on your own organ, it virtually negates the need for your partner. Yes, it feels so much better to put your penis into a vagina than into your fist, but if that is your only concern you're not really having sex, you're just getting off. Guess what? She can tell, and the more you make her feel like nothing but a cum dumpster, the more she is going to pull away from you sexually. Translation - if you don't put any effort into her experience in the sack, she will cease to put out.

The greatest impediment to a woman's orgasm is psychological. She must feel sexy in order to feel sexual. In today's age, there is a constant bombardment with images of fantasy - Victoria's Secret Angels, impossibly perfect and perky heroines in film, the mainstreaming of porn. The business intention behind this is to create an aspirational image. Nobody buys into something they already have. However, in the past fifty years, our access to media has increased exponentially, and society's consciousness hasn't necessarily had time to adjust. No matter how secure a woman is, or how much she turns you on, those images of rote, male-specific fantasy still lurk in her subconscious. Women's magazines are flooded with articles featuring Photoshopped spreads of actresses giving interviews revolving completely around diet and exercise routines. Oprah publicly apologized for gaining weight. No matter how much they fight against it, women are consistently told that there is a single standard for hotness, and none of them fit it. If you get up in there, pump away until you're done, and then roll over and start snoring, it looks to her like you merely put it where you were given permission, but you were really thinking about Jessica Alba the whole time. Seriously, ask any female.

You are probably now totally afraid of the female brain, and you probably should be. However, all of those issues can be momentarily erased by overwhelming sexual desire and mind-blowing orgasms. Touch her, stroke her, really feel everything that makes her unique. Take the focus off your penis, and put it onto the woman in your bed. If you start paying attention to her responses, and give her the orgasms she should be having, you'll see an improvement for both parties.

Michael Webb
©2009

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