So serious is your intention on getting her back that you need to devise a strategy and one that will work. So here comes the SWOT technique. Now I don't mean SWAT as in the beefed up security force who all have the good looks and bodies of Hollywood stuntmen but the SWOT of any strategic planning mission. You need to identify your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats.

So your Vision is: To get HER back

Your Mission is: Identify whatever means, methods and timelines it will take to achieve your objective in as short a time as possible.

You need to create your "Strategic Plan". So first things first and that is to identify your strengths. Well that is pretty easy right! WRONG! Remember, she left you so obviously your strengths were not as "strong" as you would have liked. Now is the time to sit down and do some contemplative thinking.

In so far as your weaknesses go, the best part of this is that most of it is already covered in strengths above because sometimes, the absence of certain strengths is seen as weaknesses. For example, each of the following may be considered weaknesses:

• lack of apparent affection and tactility (the touch factor)
• a poor communication technique
• spending too much time in front of the Television
• spending too much time with the boys
• lack of appreciation for all that she does
• lack of cooperation and help around the home

So use these "weaknesses" to work on improving and adding to your strengths. I can assure you, if you think you don't have any weaknesses, phone up some of her girlfriends and I bet they will give you at least 10 right off the bat.

In a business environment, opportunities are normally external so this is where her family and friends come in. (Provided they agree to talk to you). If not, consider that a weakness or a threat and deal with it in that regard). If there is some unfulfilled need of your exes, now is the time to identify it and utilize it. Maybe she wants a puppy? Pay a visit to the pound and get her one, that way you are maximizing the situation - supporting charity and scoring a big brownie point with her. Whatever the case, the opportunities are there, you just need to find them.

Threats could be a slap in the face, extreme rejection, the fact she may already have moved on or that she really just does not love you any more. So you need to identify what these threats could be and make sure that you have a plan that can eliminate all of these threats ensuring that she comes back to where she belongs, in your arms and in your bed!

Yes it might sound a little cold and analytical to compare your 'modus operandi' of "getting your ex back" to a strategic plan but heck, if it can save blue chip companies, why wouldn't you use the same strategy to save the most important person in your life!

Michael Webb
©2010

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