Thinking of Tying The Knot? 5 Tips To Make Sure You Stay Together
by
Michael Webb Did you know that love does NOT conquer all? You see, often people get married with the idea that their "chemistry" or undying love for each other will keep them together forever. However, with almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce these days, it's obvious that this isn't the case. Therefore, it pays to know a few little secrets before getting married. Here are 5 tips that help keep couples together long after tying the knot:
TIP#1 -- CONTINUE DATINGOver the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together. That's why going on new and refreshing dates is so important. In fact, there is something about "dating" that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and can even bring relationships out of a rut. While on a date, you also put more effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together. Stuck for ideas? Spend the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or park.
TIP#2 -- DELAY IS OFTEN BETTERIt's a well-documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period. A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter. Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn't romantic. It's gambling.
TIP#3 -- ALWAYS EXPRESS YOUR LOVEOftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each other because they 'assume' their partner already knows what they're thinking. When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner. Compliment them on their cooking, reaffirm that they're the greatest person in the world or tell them they're a wonderful role model. If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When they're feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return. Are you a super supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or silence?
TIP#4 -- TAKE TIME TO UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNERCouples with the most problems are often the ones that say, "I just don't understand him/her." So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about your mate's profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything about his or her family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in rugby? If you are a man, do you fully understand what women experience during PMS or menopause? You don't need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your partner in life and you'll grow closer as a result.
TIP#5 -- ANSWER THE *BIG* QUESTIONSDoes your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church? In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married. I guess people think they'll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. Wrong. If you fail to sit down and discuss finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days. In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there's no guarantee that chemistry or "I love you's" will help you stay together. Make it your utmost priority to understand each other 'inside-out' BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle. Michael Webb©2011 Michael Webb is the author of "1000 Questions For Couples" the most comprehensive book of questions that all couples should ask before getting married. Covering lovemaking, religion, careers, money, children & raising them, household work, personalities, the future and much much more. To learn more, visit His Website Show All Articles By Michael WebbQuestions, Questions and More Questions
After you have had a few dates with someone and you think it might be going somewhere, you begin to ask more serious questions about their childhood, family, job etc. Eventually the relationship might progress to where the really tough questions must be asked. Like "have you ever slept with someone without using a condom" or "how much debt do you have"? There is no easy way to bring up these questions. 1000 Questions for Couples: What you absolutely must know about the person you are with is going to make those difficult questions much easier to ask. The questions start off easy like "Has anyone dear to you died? How did you handle it" and "About what things are you most selfish." They slowly progress (just like your relationship should) until you get to those questions that you simply can't avoid if you are going to commit your life to living with someone. If you value your relationship, I urge you to ask these 1000 Questions for Couples. |
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The Hard QuestionsDo you want to ask the person you are dating about their sexual past, how much money they earn or other difficult questions but don't know how? 50 Secrets of Blissful RelationshipsWe all wish we could have that fairy tale relationship, where we indeed live happily ever after. With the material shared in 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships , Volume I and II - now it will be possible. Michael Webb has studied relationships for a long time, taking good notes on what things blissful couples do differently than those who have the typical relationship full of ups and downs. Nearly all "relationship" books focus on what couples are doing wrong. He'll let you know what couples are doing right. In these ground-breaking volumes, He'll share with you the 100 things that the top 1% of marriages do. Many of the concepts will probably surprise you. |