Contrary to what you see every week on 'Sex and the City', women are the complete opposite of men in that, the more *anonymous* the sexual encounter, the LESS gratifying they find it to be. Unlike the fictional uber-slut Miranda, satisfying sex does not begin and end with the quest to find someone new to have an orgasm with. For the vast majority of women, the MORE connected they feel to their partner, the more overwhelming the total sexual experience is for them.

Just the reverse of typical male thinking, right? Men are intensely turned on by the thought of having sex with a woman for that very FIRST time, or by scoring a one-night stand with a perfect stranger, or perhaps fantasizing about being in a porno movie and having wanton sex with dozens of hot women he hardly knows. The common link between all these scenarios is that there is NO emotional bonding involved. Hell, there's hardly even an exchange of names! For the man, the more anonymous the sex the more *exciting* the idea of the conquest.

How the two genders make use of (and even exploit) this knowledge of each other's romantic weakness, however, is an entirely DIFFERENT story.

Women know exactly how to turn men on by manipulating this hardwired 'quirk' in their character that absolves them of the need to actually know anything about a woman who has triggered his desire to mate. How? Simply by pushing this uniquely male "anonymous sex" button long and often... by acting sexy AND remaining emotionally aloof at the same time. The stripper, the table dancer, the whore. The molten hot stranger. Any persona will do -- and all are quite useful when their design is seduction!

Men, on the other hand, seem mostly clueless about how to turn the tables and pull off the same trick. In fact, the prevailing feeling is that female lust is such a mysterious and unfathomable 'holy grail' so rarely encountered in real life that it's taken on a kind of mythical quality. I guess some women just have it for certain men... and not for others, and there's no understanding the reasons why.

But can female lust be triggered by the deliberate actions of a man? I say absolutely yes. Women get sexually turned on just as men do of course, but -- owing to differences in reproductive biology -- by a completely different set of mental processes. Men go for a VISUAL look that suggests youthfulness and thus fertility. But females aren't interested in a man's age so much because males remain virile well into the later part of their lifespan.

What they look for, instead, are signs of male POWER.

You see, women possess a deeply-rooted pre-intellectual *instinct* which compels them to submit themselves for copulation in the presence of what they sense to be a DOMINANT MALE. They cannot help feeling like this -- despite the fact that the modern woman manages to suppress the urge to act on these feelings most of the time (but, not always...). So when a man learns how to project the most subtlest of gestures, actions and attitudes that suggest he's a "dominant male", he can force a woman's subconscious mating desires to become aroused WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT.

And some of them won't like it a bit. She may get upset because you've forced her to experience a potent feeling which she may feel compelled to conceal with the workings of her more rational mind. And yet when a woman consents to have sex with a man who has set off these automatic desires in her, she stands to enter into the hottest, most fulfilling sensual experience that it is possible for her to have. And she knows it.

...AND she's also frightened of it -- because once unleashed in this way, it can be difficult to stem the cascade of all-consuming passion. She risks taking the kind of social and romantic chance that only happens a precious few times in her life. Can she allow herself to become addicted to a man who can make her see stars?

By learning to adopt the actions and attitudes of the dominant male, it is possible to create these sort of emotional disturbances in women at will. Almost any girl that you can manage to talk to in a SPECIFIC sort of way can have her "lust triggers" ignited like a blow torch. And when the ability to seduce becomes more a skill than mere luck, your chances of suffering the humiliation of being rejected vanish too. Now you have done more than learned to act the part of a dominant male, you have *become* one. And truthfully, there's no real difference.

Because in this game, acting is BEING.

Mike Pilinski
©2005

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