Altruism is one of the quickest ways to a girl's heart, especially if it is genuine. You have spent so much time being self-absorbed and almost narcissist in nature that it's time you gave back and what better way than volunteering at a soup kitchen and inviting her to come along. So how would you go about it?

Well firstly you would have to convince her how much you have changed and how having had her out of your life had made you realize how much and how many people you took for granted. This had brought you to the realization that one of the ways you could give back to society was to volunteer for a worthwhile cause and that to prove this; you wanted her to come along and experience the wonderful gift of giving alongside you.

With a little research on a volunteer database, you can contact the soup kitchen to see what they need. If it's around holiday time, they might have an overflow of volunteers so see if there are any other services you could help with. Find out which shifts work best for you and her and do research on the lifestyle of the homeless and hungry so that you can have a meaningful conversation with the people who make use of these kitchens.

Make sure you use meaningful eye contact, smile readily and friendly and you can rest assured that not only is this type of behavior contagious, but it will extend through to your 'renewed' relationship with your ex. You can rest assured that she will be looking at you with "new eyes".

Engaging in meaningful conversation is not only a considerate thing to do but shows those with whom you are communicating that you value them as human beings. This will be evidenced by her standing beside you, observing you in these interactions and it will also broaden your own outlook on life and in so doing, impress her and possibly even prevail upon her to investigate and volunteer further for herself. Giving her a sense of achievement, fulfillment even the mere act of helping out is huge in the emotional barometer of forgiveness.

Also find out if the soup kitchen has a food panty and if they do, see if you can organize donations from your local grocery stores, friends, neighbors and the like all in the spirit of giving.Offer to collect the items personally and note that this type of collection is not just seasonal, but donations are required continuously.

Volunteering is cost-effective, a huge producer of what I call "humane endorphins", a strong basis for the "Dr Feel Good" factor as you are actively doing, feeling and contributing with your loved one by your side. What a wonderful way to "reunite" and reconnect both with each other as well as the community and your sense of giving.

Michael Webb
©2010

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