You have a real problem on your hands, she's admitted to cheating on you and you are hurt and angry.

Your emotions are running rampant. Where do you go from here. What do you do?

Here's just some of what I'm sure you are thinking:

• That's it, she's out of here.
• I'll get even by cheating on her.
• I'm going to make her life a living hell.
• Wait until I get my hands on that S.O.B. He'll wish he was never born.
• How dare she do this to me after all I've done for her.

Slow done cowboy, let's stop and think this over a bit before you do anything drastic.

I'm sorry, but she isn't the only one at fault here. You made her cheat on you.

You don't like that do you?

The truth is that no woman will cheat on her man if he's making her happy. They will only go to another man if he is giving her what she's lacking at home.

Sure she had a part to play in it and she was the one that cheated, but if you had been paying attention you would have seen the signs that something was wrong and you could have taken steps to prevent it.

Even if you can't live with her anymore, or she doesn't want to live with you it's important to understand this. Knowing that you were partly at fault will help keep you from being overly bitter plus it will go a long way to keep you from causing your next woman from cheating on you.

What if she's really sorry and promised not to ever let it happen again? I'm sure she is sincere but it's going to take some work on your part or the temptation will return.

I guarantee you that if you keep bringing it up, or use it as a tool to get her to do things your way she will be gone. You can't expect her to stay if you make her life miserable.

You have to forgive her, and start rebuilding your life together.

Even though she was the one that cheated on you, it will take work from you as well as from her.

Understand that I'm not saying you need to fall all over yourself and give in to her every whim, in fact you shouldn't. Don't degrade yourself and turn into a whimpering puppy that's always seeking approval.

• Do treat he with respect and kindness.
• Do the little things that show her that you love her.
• Do stay faithful to her.
• Do be her friend and confidant.

So if you are going to try to work it out, tell her once and only once that you wouldn't tolerate her cheating on you again, and that you will try to do your part and then don't bring it up again.

It happened, it's over. Accept it and take her back in your arms. It's what you would hope she would do if the situation was reversed.

You know that you made some mistakes and need to make some changes. She didn't cheat on you for the sex, but I suggest that you read The Virtuoso Lover. It is far more than a mere sex manual. You will find a lot of valuable information in it, and especially in your case, Volume 1 is important.

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